


Listen Up Darlings, A 10 Is Speaking

by Anonymous



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Deliberate Badart, Deliberate Badfic, Gen, Gossip, I don't get it, Insinuations, Material Girl, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Oops, and it wasn't sebstan, but i know sebstan is supposed to be in it, did tumblr lie to me?, i was shocked to google this Dan guy, i've never seen a single episode of this show, in fact he doesn't play any of the people named in this fic, or read any of the books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3623124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gather around darlings, and I'll tell you some things you didn't know you wanted to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listen Up Darlings, A 10 Is Speaking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlestpumpkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlestpumpkin/gifts).



> Dear littlestpumkin,
> 
> I hope you appreciate all the little canonical details I put into this for you XOXO

[](http://imgur.com/ROnBpa8)

"Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite,"

As I typed the words that had fooled a greater part of Manhattan I smiled to myself, my crystalline white teeth sparkling thanks to years of expensive orthodontics. Thanks mummy dearest. Little did the peons desperately seeking my name know that I was not, in fact a girl, but a boy. I reached for my Starbucks Java Chip Frappuccino and took a sip. My ruby red lips (the secret is Maybell Red Rivival. In this case I’m not actually born with it *kiss kiss*) pursed around the straw and I sucked in in satisfaction.

I heard a clatter from outside the door and quickly closed my Luvaglio laptop before anyone saw what I was doing. It was Nate. He wore last season’s Gucci and my lip curled. Actually it didn’t because that would result in unsightly wrinkles, but I thought about curling my lip.

“Oh Dan, you aren’t going to believe what I just saw!” he gasped. “Oh?” I asked sardonically, lifting one eyebrow. He stared in amazement. Nate is such a simpleton, he’s always so impressed when I do the one eyebrow trick. “I just saw Serena and Blair out by the boathouse!”

I blinked one dramatic slow blink. What on earth was Blair doing by the boathouse? She didn’t even own a pair of Por Vocacao. She had no business near a boathouse. Serena only had Dubarry, but it was better than nothing.

“They were engaged in what I can only call…” he paused dramatically. “Yes, go on” I encouraged. Information brokering of the sort I do is hard work. “…polishing the monkey.”

I blinked again. Nate did not have my flair with words. “Now that is interesting. I wonder if Lily knows.”

“Lily? Why would Lily care?” Nate blinked cluelessly.

“Don’t worry about it,” I soothed. “Have you decided on what to wear to this Saturday’s Red and Blue Party?”

“Well I was thinking Armani, but my darling Chuck said he wanted to wear his Zanotti, so I’m not sure if I would stick with the Armani…” he begin.

“Let’s go take a look and figure it out together” I said as we headed out the door.

Later I’d take a few minutes to drop a word in Lily’s ear about what Blair and Serena were up to, but right now I had to save Nate from his terrible fashion choices. He and Chuck are the sweetest couple I know and I will make sure they look the best.

As for what I’m planning on wearing, that’s another secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me…

XOXO


End file.
